Widows in early 50s and dating remarriage
In an effort to save everyone the trouble (not to mention the awkward moments when I bust you peering through my kitchen window at the back of my house), I’ve decided to put it all out there for everyone to see. I do know, however, that the gossips will gossip and that while I am a grown woman who answers only to me, it is sometimes less work to be blunt. Or better yet, they sit in the comfort of their own home, surf the web, and hunt you through your status updates and Facebook photos you get tagged in. Yes, that was us in the Dominican, frolicking on the beach. While I’d like to believe the best in everyone, that they are merely looking out for me, I am not so naive.Perhaps some of them were even a little nuts before they were widowed (we are changed by our losses... I also think that widowers with children still at home (most of the widowers I know fall in this category) are a bit more justified in hanging on to "stuff" from their past lives and sharing family (like in-laws) and memories a bit more actively.This is a giant set of exceptions that negates, for me, a lot of Abel's advice.And it seems too easy to me to provide advice to women who are dating... What makes widowed men so much more "difficult" to deal with than, say, divorced men? (Although the score does even out a bit if you start counting the time I spend on managing his posthumous career as an artist and the fact that I spend tons of time on volunteer work for widowed people like Widowed Village and the Soaring Spirits board. Fresh's first wife all the time, and they compare him to Gavin all the time, but kindly, and without excessive characterization. As stated in many examples above, divorced men do not tend to have fond memories of their ex-wives.
Many of the men in question seem to have significant trouble living comfortably with their past lives and experiences.Ultimately, every widow is different and the only person whose opinion matters is her own.Some widows are comfortable dating as early as a month or two out, others wait years, and some never date again at all.I wipe my slick palms against the thigh of my jeans, gnawing nervously on my thumb’s shredded hang nail. What’s it like to date again after you are widowed? And, to be frank, I had zero interest in ever being in it again. I fumbled, made some mistakes, and, yes, had some fun too. So for all of you aching to know and just too , scared to ask, I will now attempt to answer all those taboo questions with as much honesty as I can muster. Like many widows out there, I was out of the dating game for a long, long time. I bypassed the entire “dating” phase of life and essentially went straight from high school to married so learning to cope with members of the opposite sex in a dating situation was beyond my comprehension at first.I have various quibbles with this topic, which he and I have discussed many times.To me, the Dating a Widower movement, such as it is, looks like it's just based on following Google to high readership.Either that or “don’t you think it’s about time you started to date?” The point here is that everyone out there, especially those who don’t know what they are talking about, has an opinion on this. I changed my relationship status on Facebook to “Engaged”.In the end, it took some time and some sexy new bras to get me enjoying it instead of dreading it. This is probably the question every widow will hear some variation of at some point or another.